Dear Mr. Schoenberg,
It will be hard to convey my feelings toward you because if I say I hate your atonal music you will just have a big smiling party in your coffin, wherever you are buried. May God have mercy on your soul, by the way. And if I say I love your atonal music you will get all angsty and mad and plus it would be the BIGGEST LIE of my life.
I had to listen to your 4th quartet piece 6 times in a row (about an hour total) and I about threw myself out the window. It would've been unfortunate had I actually done that because I probably would've only broken an arm and a leg or something, thus adding to my misery. It took me about as long as I spent listening to you listening to really really good music just to get your piece out of my head. And by your piece I mean the 9 minutes of random notes thrown together into a seemingly endless assault on the listener's ears.
Anyway, I won't deny that your method of creating 12 tone "music" is genius, it's just too bad that the outcome is absolute trash. I can't believe you actually performed it in concert! What were you expecting at the end? Applause? Nay, you wanted people to hate it. I'm very confused about this. Let's just say I won't ever be listening to your atonal stuff again. Thanks for making me appreciate real music.
Sincerely,
Ramblin' Man
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